Chuan Yuan, Pu Rong Meditation Center
I remember my first time going to Chung Tai Chan Monastery with the Dharma brothers from our meditation center to "help out," I was assigned to the “odd job team,” and my task was to sort garbage for recycling. When I was sorting through the garbage, my mind was also jumping around: Why am I assigned this dirty job—I'm the president of a company, what will people think when they see me doing this, is there not something else they can let me do, ah this stinks, all my clothes are getting dirty, when will it be break time, what will we eat later on?
Soon afterwards, I had the opportunity to join another challenging practice, the intensive Chan-7 meditation retreat. During that week, I got some first-hand experiences in confirming the power of the mind, and in discovering that restless "monkey" in my mind. Since then, I have participated in a few more Chan-7 retreats, and also started to attend the meditation classes in our center. I have learned more about how the mind functions, and how to be mindful in everything we do; moreover, I have realized the negative effects of our wandering thoughts and attachments. For example, when I was helping the shifu in the kitchen to cut vegetables, whenever my mind started to drift away from the task, I would immediately cut it wrong.
During my learning journey, I have for a long time could not accept the practice of prostrations. There was always a voice in my mind saying: I'm Wouter, president of a company, why should I kneel on the ground like that? However, with taking more lessons and learning about the meaning behind the ten great vows of Samantabhadra Bodhisattva, I was able to gradually reduce this strong attachment to my ego. Volunteering in the Chung Tai kitchen has also given me the opportunity to train my mind, to learn to practice with a mind of purity, whether in action or stillness.
Once while helping out in the Monastery’s kitchen, I happily took out a few hundred packages of food from the freezer, unpacked them from their plastic bags, and placed them neatly onto trays, then put the trays onto a trolley—only to be told later by a shifu that the food should be packaged and stored, so please put them back into their plastic bags! In earlier times, I certainly would have been bothered. But then, I simply thought: packing or unpacking is just an action involving muscular movements; if I do not label these tasks and think about my likes or dislikes, then what is the difference? Both acts would come from my wish to help.
Another time, I had to clean the toilet in our house but found myself unwilling to start, thinking: Wouldn’t it be better to cook some food now than to clean the toilet? Meanwhile, I also realized: Scrubbing the toilet, or cooking and scrubbing the wok afterwards are all actions done by the hands. If I do not label one as a dirty job and the other as a pleasant job, what is the difference? Both tasks require my full attention to complete. With that reflection, I happily cleaned the toilet until it was as shiny and bright as a new one.
Recently our meditation center was promoting meditation classes. I went with my Dharma brother to give out flyers on the street. In the beginning, I felt embarrassed and only gave out a few. Then when I saw how well and joyful my partner was giving away the flyers, I asked myself: Why am I labeling this task? Just do it. Pretty soon, I was able to hand out the flyers to the passersby—and with a smile on my face!
Now, I am fully a vegetarian, and I am making efforts to uphold the Five Precepts. I go to our meditation center to attend morning service every day. It calms my mind and gives my day a good start so that I can stay mindful every moment during the day. So did learning Buddhism change me? Yes, it certainly did. My mind is much clearer and lighter now, and I know more how to be the master of my own mind.
I resolve to keep practicing in order to realize a mind without delusion, a mind of enlightenment.