文／美國佛門寺研經班學員　Lauryn Marinho（傳仁）

　　Just as one teaches students how to subtract in mathematics (one of the most difficult concepts to teach to children for some reason) – by first using physical manipulatives, such as fingers, blocks, candies, etc., and then gradually moving to the abstract practice of subtraction through symbolic numerals mentally and on paper – I am attempting to subtract my attachments and false ego.

　　I need to begin with one step at a time. First, by diminishing the most obvious in the physical state: television. There could be nothing more deceptive, false or ignorant than watching television. By recently removing the act of foolishly watching television, I was able to naturally extricate from the urge to be a certain way and buy more of what is not at all necessary.

　　Now is the more challenging part: How do I remove all of my other, less obvious and more abstract attachments that have been embedded within me during my thirty years of living? I have been constantly surrounded, fed and bombarded with delusions and have willingly accepted so many of them. I want and "need" that new and fashionable cell phone, for instance. I desire the good-tasting food from that fancy restaurant. I really crave that feel-good compliment from my boss in order to feed my false ego. If only I could really, truly understand that these desires are just bringing me suffering. Learning the teachings of the Buddha at Buddha Gate Monastery, practicing meditation and receiving my husband's unceasing and compassionate assistance with reminding me to develop more awareness have all assisted me in becoming more conscious of where my attachments lie and what is real.

　　Subtracting these material goods and attachments from this life, in fact, adds to my life. My true Buddha nature can be revealed through subtraction.

　　（某方面來說，數學減法是最難教的概念之一──得先運用如手指、積木和糖果等實體教具，再逐漸透過心算和紙上的符號數字，來練習抽象的減法。如同教學生減法一樣，我也在努力嘗試著減少執著和我執。

　　這需要一步一步地來。首先，要改掉現實生活中最顯而易見的習慣──看電視，沒有什麼行為比看電視更容易誤導人，更虛妄、無知的了。近來，改掉這個愚癡的習慣後，很自然地就能擺脫以往的行為模式，以及購買不必要的產品的衝動。

　　接下來的部分更具有挑戰性，那就是如何去除其他較隱微、抽象地深藏在三十年來生活當中的執著？一直以來，我與這些執著為伍，被它們所包圍、轟炸，且是這麼習慣地接受它們。我想要也「需要」這款新型時髦的手機；我想嚐嚐那家精緻餐廳的美食；我真的很渴望得到上司的讚歎，以長養我執……其實，我真正需要了解的，是那些欲望所帶來的痛苦。來到佛門寺學佛修禪，並經過同修不斷地慈悲協助和提醒以提起覺性後，我更清楚自己有什麼樣的執著、什麼才是真實不虛的。

　　事實上，減少生命中的這些物欲、執著，反而豐富了我的人生。而佛性的清淨、自在、作主，也在減去欲望的修持中，更加地彰顯。）