文／美国佛门寺研经班学员　Lauryn Marinho（传仁）

　　Just as one teaches students how to subtract in mathematics (one of the most difficult concepts to teach to children for some reason) – by first using physical manipulatives, such as fingers, blocks, candies, etc., and then gradually moving to the abstract practice of subtraction through symbolic numerals mentally and on paper – I am attempting to subtract my attachments and false ego.

　　I need to begin with one step at a time. First, by diminishing the most obvious in the physical state: television. There could be nothing more deceptive, false or ignorant than watching television. By recently removing the act of foolishly watching television, I was able to naturally extricate from the urge to be a certain way and buy more of what is not at all necessary.

　　Now is the more challenging part: How do I remove all of my other, less obvious and more abstract attachments that have been embedded within me during my thirty years of living? I have been constantly surrounded, fed and bombarded with delusions and have willingly accepted so many of them. I want and "need" that new and fashionable cell phone, for instance. I desire the good-tasting food from that fancy restaurant. I really crave that feel-good compliment from my boss in order to feed my false ego. If only I could really, truly understand that these desires are just bringing me suffering. Learning the teachings of the Buddha at Buddha Gate Monastery, practicing meditation and receiving my husband's unceasing and compassionate assistance with reminding me to develop more awareness have all assisted me in becoming more conscious of where my attachments lie and what is real.

　　Subtracting these material goods and attachments from this life, in fact, adds to my life. My true Buddha nature can be revealed through subtraction.

　　（某方面来说，数学减法是最难教的概念之一──得先运用如手指、积木和糖果等实体教具，再逐渐透过心算和纸上的符号数字，来练习抽象的减法。如同教学生减法一样，我也在努力尝试着减少执着和我执。

　　这需要一步一步地来。首先，要改掉现实生活中最显而易见的习惯──看电视，没有什么行为比看电视更容易误导人，更虚妄、无知的了。近来，改掉这个愚痴的习惯后，很自然地就能摆脱以往的行为模式，以及购买不必要的产品的冲动。

　　接下来的部分更具有挑战性，那就是如何去除其他较隐微、抽象地深藏在三十年来生活当中的执着？一直以来，我与这些执着为伍，被它们所包围、轰炸，且是这么习惯地接受它们。我想要也“需要”这款新型时髦的手机；我想尝尝那家精致餐厅的美食；我真的很渴望得到上司的赞叹，以长养我执……其实，我真正需要了解的，是那些欲望所带来的痛苦。来到佛门寺学佛修禅，并经过同修不断地慈悲协助和提醒以提起觉性后，我更清楚自己有什么样的执着、什么才是真实不虚的。

　　事实上，减少生命中的这些物欲、执着，反而丰富了我的人生。而佛性的清净、自在、作主，也在减去欲望的修持中，更加地彰显。）