美妙的生命乐章
文/ 美国佛心寺禅修班学员 Mark Cunningham
I first started reading and observing Buddhist principles and material a couple of years ago. This past fall I started attending “Beginning Meditation Classes” at Buddha Mind Monastery in Oklahoma. I wanted to find a teacher who could teach me better ways to practice and help to guide me and share their experience with me as tried to deepen my efforts of practicing the principles that I had read about.
The more that I read and, more importantly, the more that I tried to “apply” what I read to my life, the more I felt it was becoming a “truthful way of life” for me. Not only did it enhance some of the spiritual practices and principles that I was already making a part of my life, it offered a “hope” for me in crossing through some areas of my life that are still causing me to suffer, and maybe more importantly than just me, they are areas of my life that also have caused suffering for others that are dear to me too.
While I am far from “enlightened” I know in my heart of hearts that I am on this path and that while I am just a beginner, I know that there is some power or pull “within” that keeps moving me in a direction of growth in a positive way.
No doubt, the losses and failures in my life have been the biggest catalyst for lasting beneficial change in my life. To date, one of the biggest losses or troubles that I have ever had to face was alcoholism; many of the principles that I was taught in rebuilding my life and overcoming alcoholism are central to the Noble Eightfold Path. Self-examination (Right Mindfulness and Right Understanding), amending relationships (Right Action), and helping others are all principles that I try to practice in my life.
Where does tolerance fit in? Buddhism has helped me to be able to better practice tolerance for others. My intolerance for others and not allowing them the dignity of growing as they are supposed to grow in their own time is a guarantee for a disaster in my relationship with others. Meditation and contemplation in how to better understand them have helped me to have a more kind and tolerant view towards others.
Sometimes the best that I can do is to “step back” from the moment until a later time when I have a chance to let the “emotions of the moment” subside and clearer thinking prevail. Now those are nice ways of saying it and on paper it sure looks a lot better than how it might really happen in real life. Some days life just seems to “come at you”, and all the spiritual tools in the world can’t stop that. BUT, they do give me some assistance in how to respond.
I have always been fond of the story of the boy that was trying to learn to play the guitar. When you first are learning to play the guitar putting your fingers in the right spots for the chords is very awkward, sometimes uncomfortable. You strum the strings and a noise that is similar to the sound that the chord should make comes out of the guitar. The more you strum, the better the sound becomes. That is just one chord. Eventually the teacher has you move from one chord to another, it doesn’t flow anything like a beautiful song for some time as you practice. At first it isn’t always a pretty sound, but in time with more practice eventually you become able to make that “joyful sound” that you had hoped to be able to make one day.
That to me is how the spiritual life seems to work too. I will be able to play a beautiful melody in my life.
(几年前,我开始接触佛法。直到今年秋天,我才到美国奥克拉荷马州的佛心寺上初级禅修班。我希望找一位能善用方法来引导修行的老师,除了分享修行经验外,同时也能带领我更深入地实践过去所学的教理。
随着薰修的深入,不断地将所学应用到日常生活中时,我益加地感受到佛法才是人生的真理。佛法不仅在修行方法及教理上丰富了我的心灵生活,当我在人生十字路口不断挣扎时,它带给了我希望。不仅如此,当我亲爱的家人和朋友们陷入困境时,佛法也为我们带来光明。
虽说距离开悟还很远,但我心里明白,我走的是一条正确的道路。虽然我只是初学者,但我知道,有一股内在的力量带着我一路走在正道上并不断地成长。
毫无疑问,我这一生的失败,就是生命转折的最大助因。酗酒是我生命中曾经面临的最大困境之一,而我所学到的如何克服、面对以重建新生命的所有道理,都离不开八正道的核心。例如,自我反省(正见与正念)、改善人际关系(正业),以及帮助他人等,都是我在生活中努力实践的道理。
忍辱的作用何在?佛法帮助我更落实容忍的功夫。我在人际关系上的失败,归因于无法包容他人,甚至不容许他人在成长过程中拥有应有的尊严。藉由静坐观行,我更能同理他人,也更加地慈悲与包容。
有时,我所能做到的最佳状况是在事情的当下“退一步”,并在事后让自己的情绪冷静下来,使思绪变得清晰。有时,这些道理看似纸上谈兵,而且,说的远比在现实生活中落实容易多了,当事情冲着你来时,所学的一切心灵妙方似乎都派不上用场。即使如此,佛法依然在我面对、处理这些问题时,提供了很大的帮助。
我一直很喜欢一个男孩学弹吉他的故事。刚开始学的时候,要把手放在正确的位置上弹出和弦,真是不灵活又难受,弹奏出来的声音也跟噪音差不多。但是,愈弹声音就愈好听。而这不过是弹一个和弦而已,时间久了,老师一定会要求从一个和弦换到另一个和弦。这个时候,听起来一点都不像一首动人的曲子。但只要练习久了,最后就可以如自己所期望的弹出美妙的音乐。
对我而言,修行生活也是如此,只要不断地练习,就能弹奏出美妙的生命乐章。)
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