While growing up as a child, I always had stomach pain, but the doctors turned me away because they said I was too young to be sick. The doctors put me on pain medication and told me the pain would go away. I remember times when I was rolling on the floor in the living room holding my stomach and complaining to my parents about my pain. Did they not care about me? Now that I look back, they ignored me not because they didn't care; it was because I was complaining too much and there was nothing they could do to help me.

（小時候我經常胃痛，但是醫生們總是不當一回事，他們認為我太小，不可能會生病。醫生開止痛藥給我，並且說：「你的胃很快就不會痛了。」但是，有好幾次我痛到抱著肚子在客廳地板上打滾，並向父母訴苦，但是父母無法解除我的痛苦。難道他們不關心我嗎？回憶起來，我終於明白：他們並非因為不關心而忽視我的痛苦，而是因為我老是在抱怨胃痛，所以他們實在不知道該如何幫助我。）

　　When I was in high school, I started to suffer from low back pain. Not knowing what had triggered it, none of the doctors really did anything to help ease the pain. They assumed that it would eventually go away, or I would not complain about it anymore. At least at my age, they didn't think it was anything serious. I've gone to see physical therapists, sports injury specialists, chiropractors and even an acupuncturist. No one could do anything that could ease the pain. Their treatments either had no effect or only gave temporary relief. At that time, even a day of relief was appreciated. I started having negative thoughts toward doctors and medications. I began losing faith in doctors and always resented going back to them since they couldn't help me.

（讀高中時，我開始有了下背痛。由於找不到原因，所以也沒有任何醫生能治好它。醫生認為我的背痛一定會消失，或者我最後會停止抱怨；總之，在我那樣的年紀，他們不認為背痛有什麼大不了的。我曾經看過物理治療師、運動傷害專家、脊椎指壓治療師，甚至針灸師，卻沒有人可以減輕我的痛苦。他們的治療不是完全沒有效果，就是只能暫時舒緩疼痛而已。那時候，只要誰能讓我一天不痛，我就非常感激他。我開始對醫療有消極的想法，我變得不信任醫生，也很厭惡再看醫生，因為他們根本幫不上忙！）

　　By the time I was in college, new pain and symptoms started to appear. I started to get sciatica (nerve pain) radiating down my legs. This made it difficult for me to drive and sit in class for long periods of time. I continued going to physical therapy and seeing a chiropractor for temporary relief. Again, the stereotype of my age being too young had a big part in the therapist's analysis. I was easily irritated by the thoughts of my age and the doctors not accepting the fact that there was something wrong with me that was causing my pain. By this time, I grew tired; I started to accept the fact that my back pain was chronic and that I would have to live with it for the rest of my life. I remember thinking to myself… "Why me? What did I do to deserve this?" Not knowing the principles of Cause and Effect, I didn't realize that these symptoms could have been caused by an accumulation of past karma. I continued to go to different doctors hoping that one day someone could find something to help with my pain and problem. Doing this was just an action to satisfy myself so I could say I have done something by trying to seek someone for help.

（在我念大學時，又出現新的症狀。我開始有坐骨神經痛，而且往下一直痛到雙腿。這使得我很難開車，上課時也無法久坐。我持續地作物理治療及脊椎指壓治療，以使疼痛獲得短暫的緩解。但同樣地，治療師們又因為我年紀輕而不認為我真的有病。我經常為此發火，因為他們老是不肯相信。雖然我年紀輕，可是我的身體的確出了問題，所以才會造成疼痛。我實在厭倦了看醫生，我開始面對現實：這種背痛是慢性的，所以我下半輩子都得與它共存。我問自己：「為什麼是我？我到底做了什麼，必須承受這些痛苦？」當時我並不明白因果的道理，不知道這些症狀可能是由過去造的業所引起；我只能不斷地換醫生，希望有一天，有人能治好我的病。這麼做其實只為了對自己有所交代，因為我至少曾經尋求協助。）

　　Each day passed with the thought that my 'chronic pain' would be stuck with me forever. I mentally learned to accept the fact that my body has to adapt to the pain. As I got older, my pain kept coming and going. Over a year and a half ago, I started to endure another new type of pain. My neck, shoulder and arms were hurting to a pain level that was much more intense than my back at this point. I used to think that it was unfair for me to have to go through this kind of 'torture'.

（日子一天天過去，我始終認為：這種慢性的疼痛將跟著我一輩子。我學著去接受事實，讓身體適應疼痛。隨著年歲的增長，我的疼痛也來來去去。大約一年半前，我又開始覺得脖子、肩膀和手臂都在痛，這種痛甚至比背痛還要強烈許多。我常想：受盡各種疼痛的折磨，對我而言是多麼不公平！）

　　This type of torture aggravated my anger at home. Thinking that no one could understand my pain the way I do, I was very ignorant and expected my family to sympathize with my pain. This time the pain was irritable to a point where it affected my performance at work. That was when I decided it was unacceptable for me. I needed to really find someone to figure out what I needed to fix the pain. Luckily, two months ago, I was referred to a specialist who took the time to find out exactly the trigger area that was causing pain in my neck and shoulder. I have gone through an epidural injection procedure, which has diminished the pain tremendously. Currently, I have only have minor sporadic pains that I can deal with because it has diminished to a very low pain level.

（病痛的折磨，讓我在家時更容易發怒。我認為沒有人能體會我的痛苦，並且很愚癡地希望家人能對我表示同情。疼痛的程度已經到了影響工作的地步了，因此我不再忍耐，決定非要找到一個人幫我解除痛苦。很幸運地，兩個月前有人轉介我到一個專家那裡，他幫我找出了引發頸部和肩膀疼痛的部位。我接受了硬膜外注射，這個療程大大地減輕了我的疼痛，現在只剩下非常輕微的偶發性疼痛，我也可以輕鬆地面對它了。）

　　Since I started going to Buddha Gate Monastery, I realized I had many negative thoughts and I was selfish in thinking that the increase of my pain was due to the incompetence of the doctors. I blamed my family for not understanding my sufferings, when it was my own anger that I was to blame. I let the pain I've been growing up with overpower me. The chain reaction explains the example of Cause & Effect. Now that I have started to utilize my Buddhist practice, I've come to realize that my actions play a huge part in how I should react to my pain. I've started to recognize and judge my behavior and situations differently. One major change that I've put into practice is to slow down my multi-task lifestyle and only attend to things I believe I can handle and that are important.

（來到佛門寺以後，我才意識到原來自己有許多負面的想法。過去，我自私地認為身體的疼痛是由於醫生的無能而加劇的，並責怪家人不了解我所受的苦，但事實上應該怪的是自己的瞋恨心，因為我被從小到大不間斷的疼痛所擊倒。學佛之後，我開始將佛法的道理運用在生活上，並且醒悟：在面對疼痛時，自己的反應將是影響結果的重要關鍵。我對自己所面臨的狀況及應對的方式，開始有了不同的認識和判斷。我作了很大的改變，放慢了生活步調，不再一口氣做太多事情，而只處理自己可以應付得來並真正重要的事。）

　　After taking meditation classes and listening to the Dharma talks, it seems like a luxury to take the time to sit and meditate. With our mind full of many thoughts, we need to purify our mind in order to have a clear understanding of what issues we are facing and how we are to deal with them. I also realize I was too attached to my body being in pain. My body is impermanent so I need to accept the pain at that very moment and then let that thought go. By changing my negative views and instead of complaining about it, I tell myself to let go of the thought of pain and it will subside on it's own, eventually.

（參加禪修班並聽經聞法後，撥出一些時間靜坐，對我而言是一件非常棒的事。我們的心中有太多的念頭，必須讓心清淨，才能看清楚所面對的問題，並且明白該如何適當地處理它。我也了解，自己過去真的太執著身體的痛苦了。身體是無常的，所以當疼痛發生時，我應該接受它，並且放下「痛」的念頭。我改變負面的思維方式，不再抱怨，並告訴自己只要不理會痛的念頭，它終究會消失的。）

　　I never imagined that I could learn from my own pain. It is not the pain my body is going through that I am listening to, but it is my mind that I need to pay attention to. Giving my physical body rest and taking the time to take care of myself can give me the opportunity to become aware of myself and helps me determine what my next step will be. Since I still have pain after I started practicing Buddhism, I have gradually started meditating longer daily and used that time to calm my mind down. It is funny how my whole body feels much lighter and the pain does not linger on as long now that I think about it differently.

（我從未想過能因病痛而成長。值得我細心關照的對象，並不是身體的病痛，而是自己的心念。讓身體休息並花時間觀照自心，讓我有機會認識自己，並且明白下一步該如何做。由於身體的疼痛並未完全消除，我逐漸拉長靜坐的時間，利用靜坐讓心平靜下來。有趣的是，因為我對疼痛的想法改變了，所以也感覺身體輕鬆了許多，疼痛也不再持續得那麼久了。）